Claudia Madden’s most recent poem to appear here was “Sepsis” (November 2017)

i fell
By Claudia Madden

I’m going to lie
for you.
I am going to lie because
to expose you
is to expose me
like a gutted eel to the air
and I have only the strength
to protect us
in pleading silence
and leave shame
to coil beneath my ribcage
and trickle poison
into my every breath.

That you will be the one
whose name I remember
after every sense has failed me
is my purest proof
that there is no mercy
in God.
It will be years
before his hands
stop feeling like yours,
before everyone’s hands
stop feeling like yours.

You made a beat dog of me.

A just world
sees you neutered,
bloodied and cold
forever wincing at greetings
and embarrassing yourself.

But you retire satisfied.
Posture sturdy and striding in full,
voice thick with bass and vigor.

I am recommitted
To the trash heap.