Ruth Gooley’s most recent poem to appear here was “Novelty Road” (March 2018). 

Lessons Emily Post Never Taught You
By Ruth Gooley

On the number 10 bus to downtown LA,
Follow these rules and you’ll be fine.
Line up and wait, no cutting, no pushing,
Although it’s nice to let others go first.
A quick hi to the driver as you deposit your fare,
No delays allowed to look for change or a pass.
Then an empty seat or a strap to hold onto,
No falling or touching as the bus lurches off,
Parcels contained on your lap,
Newspaper folded in half, sneezes blessed,
Soft speech okay, reading preferred,
Sleeping allowed, though snoring is not.
No radios, no music, no jive.
A line up when you get off and a thank you to the driver,
Feet watched, no stumbling, no falling,
The door held open for the person behind you,
A goodbye and see you tomorrow,
a wave as you walk off.

Observe these rules and keep the bus running
From the west side to downtown and back.
Follow these rules, and the bus will keep on running,
From downtown to the west side and back.