Gianluca D’Elia says this about his poem: “The idea to capitalize certain words was inspired by Arundhati Roy’s writing style in The God of Small Things, which I just finished reading and the quote from the book: ‘When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That’s what careless words do. They make people love you a little less.'” His most recent poem to appear here was Supernerd (September 2011).

Umbrella-Shaped Hole
By Gianluca D’Elia

I waved goodbye at the door
Ready to brave the rain with no umbrella
You hesitantly waved back, shrugged, raised your eyebrows, slammed the door.

Standing speechless on the verandah,
I felt numb to the idea of Loving anyone
Clumsy, six feet two inches, in skinny blue jeans, stepping on teenage dreams.

Still standing at the door, blank expression, goosebumps
In my burgundy and neon yellow Nikes and an oversized college sweatshirt
Speechless on the verandah–what Was, what Could Have Been, what is now Reality

Past, present, and future
Intertwined under the moonlight of a small town
A little less quiet, and suddenly a little more disturbing

I walked away, neither welcoming nor hiding from the rain,
As if I were in a dramatic movie scene, with an umbrella-shaped Hole in my Heart
A little wiser, a little more mature. A little less compassionate, but not a heartbreaker. Alone but not Lonely.