It's just poetry, it won't bite

Murder in My Heart

03.14.10 Posted in today's words by

Martyn writes and lives in the UK with his wife and three children. He
is a writer of dark fiction, particularly fantasy, sci-fi, and horror,
as well as fiction. He is editing an anthology of flash stories,
Elements of Horror, set to be published this year, and his second novel
is being reviewed by agents and publishers. He is currently writing his
third novel. You can stay current with Clive’s happenings at his blog. His work has been published at various places; read his recent flash at
POW Fast Flash Fiction.

Murder in My Heart
By Clive Martyn

I wait.
Patiently in the wardrobe.
The clothes smell of you.
Distracting. Familiar.
The gun feels heavy. Alien.
You walk into the room.
Laughing. An alien sound.
He follows. Grinning.
Now? I wonder.

I watch.
He lifts you tenderly.
You kiss for the longest time.
Anger. Fury.
My blood races. Pain.
You lead the way to our bed.
Giggling. At me?
But he stops.
Now? I wonder.

I listen.
Not here–it’s not right, he says.
He’s long gone, you say.
Hatred boils.
I can’t do it, he says.
I love you, you know that.
Smiles. Understanding.
But not here? She says.
Now? I wonder.

I hesitate.
Not here, he whispers.
The way you look at him.
Love? More than lust.
You glow with him.
You never looked at me like that.
And he reflects it back.
I look at the gun.
Now? I wonder.

I hate myself.
You kiss. Leave.
Hand in hand. True love.
I wish I had loved you like that.
And you, me back.
There is just emptiness now.
Where the rage had been.
Emptiness and regret. Tears.
You will be okay.

So will I.

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