Marc Tretin’s most recent poem to appear here was “The God of Assassination Responds to Maya’s Prayers” (December 2018).

Anniversary
By Marc Tretin

I never loved my mother though I tried to be
good to her so I’d get what was left
of her estate and, also shame, my more successful,
brother who luckily was too busy writing ads
to visit her even once a month. The fact
that she waits for me in a heaven,
causes the little hairs on the back of my neck
to prickle, as if some monster would bite me
and the only defense I have is goose bumps.
Do not get me wrong, she loved me,
but never understood me. For this I won’t forgive her,
though she loved me more than my brother
during the three years, it took for her to die.
Despite her heavy cough, I had a good time walking
her down my block every weekend,
at first to the corner candy store to buy the Post
and months later to just past the building next door
and finally, we’d just sit on the stoop to get some air.
The spring she died, she said, “Each week
I walk a bit less. I know you noticed that.
Don’t worry, all my accounts have your name.
Just make sure your brother gets something.
A little something.” I loved her for that and
felt understood. When a kid I never let her
kiss me but let her give me butterfly kisses
on my neck that made my flesh stand up.
It was too good a feeling, I had to make her stop.