Part 1

When he went to upper brass

About his big decision

They rejected Jeb Marshall

But he went through anyway

And now he makes the big bucks

Because breakfast always works

People got their sandwiches

Of egg or sausage all day

The pigs said, “Hip hip hooray!”

Well, not everyone was glad

There was an evil person

Who gave Jeb Marshall a call

“Listen, sonny Jim, to me,

I call the shots in this town.”

“Right you are,” said Jeb Marshall,

“But I want to know who is this?”

“Shut up! Now you listen here,”

Said the voice on the phone line

Jeb could now tell who it was.

“This is what I have to say:

You’re going to shut down now

It’s my way or the highway.

You understand me, Marshall?”

“I understand you clearly,

Ronald,” gulped Jeb, and he hung up.

Part 2

Now there was devastation

Within all the kingdom land

For Jeb’s McDonald’s shut down

And those non-breakfast hours

Became a tribulation

Because what were we to do?

Well, I had to form a crew

Of misfit rebel rangers

And we caught up with Marshall

“He may have all the power,”

I said, “He may have the clout,

He will never take the one thing

That we cannot do without.

Re-open that McDonald’s

And serve breakfast all day long

For we shall all protect you

And in that, you can’t go wrong.”

Jeb clenched his fist, “God damn!”

When you’re right, you’re f’ing right.”

He re-opened McDonald’s

With breakfast served all day long.

Part 3

Ronald of the McDonalds

The clown of the family

The big boss of upper brass

Whose twisted smile told you that

He wouldn’t be reckoned with

And he brought Jeb in one day

“You know what this means, don’t you?”

Jeb nodded his head, dismayed

Then he punched that clown real hard

“Wahahahahou!” he laughed

As he went backwards falling

Bounced right back up and hooked him

Sending him twenty feet back

So now Jeb’s stuck in a cage

He was brought to the circus

But we did storm the ramparts

Put the hamburglar in cuffs

And we fried up the fry guy

Then we made the birdie sing

But the clown was a tough one

He disoriented us

With balloons and other things

He sprayed us down with seltzer

Then he honked his horn aloud

He grabbed me around the neck

Oh, he had the upper hand

But I knew the clown’s weakness

I brought out a small kitten

Who proceeded to scratch him

Until he had to escape

Via his unicycle

But we wouldn’t let him go

So to fast forward now

Jeb’s McDonald’s is around

And the land is now happy

Julien Edmund Moss’ poem Tambien appeared at vox poetica in February 2011.