Part 1
When he went to upper brass
About his big decision
They rejected Jeb Marshall
But he went through anyway
And now he makes the big bucks
Because breakfast always works
People got their sandwiches
Of egg or sausage all day
The pigs said, “Hip hip hooray!”
Well, not everyone was glad
There was an evil person
Who gave Jeb Marshall a call
“Listen, sonny Jim, to me,
I call the shots in this town.”
“Right you are,” said Jeb Marshall,
“But I want to know who is this?”
“Shut up! Now you listen here,”
Said the voice on the phone line
Jeb could now tell who it was.
“This is what I have to say:
You’re going to shut down now
It’s my way or the highway.
You understand me, Marshall?”
“I understand you clearly,
Ronald,” gulped Jeb, and he hung up.
Part 2
Now there was devastation
Within all the kingdom land
For Jeb’s McDonald’s shut down
And those non-breakfast hours
Became a tribulation
Because what were we to do?
Well, I had to form a crew
Of misfit rebel rangers
And we caught up with Marshall
“He may have all the power,”
I said, “He may have the clout,
He will never take the one thing
That we cannot do without.
Re-open that McDonald’s
And serve breakfast all day long
For we shall all protect you
And in that, you can’t go wrong.”
Jeb clenched his fist, “God damn!”
When you’re right, you’re f’ing right.”
He re-opened McDonald’s
With breakfast served all day long.
Part 3
Ronald of the McDonalds
The clown of the family
The big boss of upper brass
Whose twisted smile told you that
He wouldn’t be reckoned with
And he brought Jeb in one day
“You know what this means, don’t you?”
Jeb nodded his head, dismayed
Then he punched that clown real hard
“Wahahahahou!” he laughed
As he went backwards falling
Bounced right back up and hooked him
Sending him twenty feet back
So now Jeb’s stuck in a cage
He was brought to the circus
But we did storm the ramparts
Put the hamburglar in cuffs
And we fried up the fry guy
Then we made the birdie sing
But the clown was a tough one
He disoriented us
With balloons and other things
He sprayed us down with seltzer
Then he honked his horn aloud
He grabbed me around the neck
Oh, he had the upper hand
But I knew the clown’s weakness
I brought out a small kitten
Who proceeded to scratch him
Until he had to escape
Via his unicycle
But we wouldn’t let him go
So to fast forward now
Jeb’s McDonald’s is around
And the land is now happy
Julien Edmund Moss’ poem Tambien appeared at vox poetica in February 2011.